Sari’s story

Our story with the Hospice began when my beautiful darling husband Sari started going through deep pain…

You see, Sari was one of the healthiest people I have ever known, but on our son’s 7th birthday he felt short of breath after school drop off. This was really surprising since a couple of weeks before we had ridden 60Km on our bikes in a weekend and he had been absolutely fine! After many tests and hospital visits, he was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer in May 2021.

Treatment

Almost immediately after, Sari begun a series of chemotherapies up until December when they stopped working – he then went through a brief clinical trial in January. Throughout, he was admirably brave, and he truly loved life – savouring every moment and sharing with us his love.

After the chemo, Christmas arrived, and he was in constant pain. It was at this point in time that his Oncologist referred us to the Hospice so they could help us manage the pain. I will never forget the warm welcoming atmosphere that greeted us. Neither of us had ever been to a hospice so we were not sure what to expect. We felt it was very different from Hospitals or any of the other health centres we had been to during Sari’s illness for tests, treatments, procedures, etc. Although we did feel blessed for the care we received through the NHS, nothing came quite close to the warmth we felt at the hospice. 

Sari received help for his pain until the middle of February when it became almost unbearable, and he was admitted as an in-patient at the Hospice. His room was lovely and comfortable with a window that overlooked the trees in the spinney. There was a whiteboard where the nurses asked us to write what Sari liked, what he did not like, and for us to draw our family tree. The first thing Sari asked us to write was that he liked the Hospice, and he did not like hospitals.

Staying in St. Michael’s

On the days that followed, we were able to visit Sari after school with our little boy and our grown-up daughter for a few hours each day. The reception team came to know us and were warm and welcoming every time we visited. Their smiles and kind words will always stay with us. The nurses were always kind with Sari and with all of us. They learnt our names and by looking at the family tree in the room’s white board, they knew who we were and what we meant to Sari. 

We thought Sari was going to be at the hospice for a night or two, but his pain was constant and his stay at the hospice kept being extended. During this time, he was incredibly well looked after by all the medical teams, he was visited by the chaplain, and even the hospice’s therapy dog.

During one of my visits, on Valentine’s weekend, the nurses and catering team offered me dinner. I accepted and said to my darling that it would be our Valentine’s date at the hospice. One of the nurses heard us and said there could be no dates without flowers, so she went and got a beautiful flower bouquet and placed it in the room for us! Ohh it was so lovely. Little did I know this was going to be our last date. 

Final days

A few days after our date, we were told that Sari had started the process of dying. Having heard this, we felt our world crumbling down. They said they would be there for us and that we would receive all the help they could give us during the process. They explained what to expect and gave us some leaflets with more information. Our joint concern was how to support our little boy. He’d known daddy was very unwell, but not that our time with him was being cut so short, none of us expected that. We were supported by the bereavement team on what we could do to help our son. We were also given a memory box, which our son continues to find comfort from. 

In the end, the Hospice helped us to remain by his side, and on the evening of the 22nd of February Sari peacefully passed away in my arms. He just stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating.

Afterwards, as part of Sari’s Celebration of Life, we decided to request donations for the Hospice instead of flowers. The donations have been used to fund child bereavement resources to support children like our young son.

 As a family we will always be grateful to St. Michael’s Hospice for looking after Sari when we needed them the most. We don’t know how we would have coped without them. The staff kindness, understanding and compassion is something we will always treasure in our hearts.

Claudia Paredes

A note from the Hospice.

Sari’s son James wanted to raise awareness of our work by doing an assembly at his school. Unfortunately we didn’t really have any visual materials appropriate for primary school aged kids so James kindly offered his talents to voice over a video we had made for Hospice Care Week. The results are so heartwarming and you can watch and listen to the results on our video page here. Just look for the video with the picture of James.