Ben’s Story

About Ben

Ben was always upbeat and positive. Always last to leave the party, Ben travelled across the world with work and was a keen cyclist – in fact Ben liked all sports, from golf to squash and tennis. Active, full of ideas and a great organiser on the social scene was how his family and friends viewed him.

He had a rich network of friends and was a great judge of character. As well as working, he volunteered as Governor at his children’s school, and was a member of the Parent Teacher Association too. Later he focused on volunteering for the Pensions Ombudsman Service and as a pension trustee. Invested in village life, Ben was a hands-on Parish councillor and was the inspiration and fundraiser for the new pétanque (boules) terrain that the village enjoys.

Ben and Sally met at a party when they were in school, staying close during university years before eventually marrying and having two children.

Being diagnosed with cancer

In 2019, after a stool test, Ben was diagnosed with cancer. He went on to have surgery, and true to form being the active person he was, just a few days later, he was at the rugby club’s Christmas party – never one to miss an occasion!

Then the pandemic hit, and lockdown began. His wife described this as a special time together as it gave Ben time to recover without the ‘fear of missing out’ and things became more optimistic. As Ben was undergoing chemotherapy treatment during lockdown, he missed the chance of a potentially valuable clinical trial due to the pandemic.  However, throughout treatment he still found the ‘joie de vivre’ in cycling almost daily with Sally. Mentally Ben was on top of ‘cancer’.

The Hospice

Ben knew of St. Michael’s Hospice, as he’d taken part in our cycling challenge, the Big Wheel, however he had never visited. This changed during the pandemic when Ben attended blood test appointments at the Turner Centre based at the Hospice.

After chemotherapy, Ben then just had check-ups. Following a check-up in summer 2021, Ben got a call asking him to meet with the consultant. Sadly, the cancer had returned, and he was to undergo chemotherapy, then some radiotherapy. Nothing was helping the cancer, but we left no stone unturned in the quest to help Ben. 

Managing Ben’s pain

By the start of 2022 Ben was told chemotherapy was no longer working. New questions were asked and Ben wanted to know what would happen next. This was when the family were introduced to the Hospice and met one of the palliative consultants. The personal involvement of the consultant and meeting the team at the Hospice became a lifeline to the new normal and the needs that sat outside of oncology. A new relationship started to take shape that returned belief and confidence to Ben.

A little while later, Ben came into our Hospice for pain management, he didn’t react well to the medication initially, however our team came up with a new way of helping manage his pain which made him much more comfortable.

Putting life back into days

Ben had a family wedding abroad in July 2022, and asked us, ‘Am I going to make it?’ and we replied, ‘We’re going to do everything we can.’ Our team put together a pain management plan for Ben, which enabled him to go abroad for a week to attend the family wedding. Ben gave a memorable wedding speech and entertained everyone as part of a trio with some of his favourite songs. He swam daily and felt alive. Just as he did when he delivered a rousing speech in October 2022 at his daughter’s engagement dinner.

Due to the placement of Ben’s cancer, sitting down would often be agony, and he’d lie on his front to be as comfortable as possible. Ben wanted to join his family for all these special moments together, and our staff worked with the family to manage his pain – ensuring he could go. His wife told us, ‘These were such special moments and memories for us all, made possible by the Hospice helping Ben to live the best of his days. More best days followed with the arrival of our grandson.’

Sally continued, ‘Ben didn’t want to die at home – he just felt safe when he was in the Hospice, secure and supported, and surrounded by professionals who felt like family and friends at the end. To us all actually.’

In January 2023, Ben died in our Hospice with his wife by his side.

When asked about their experience of the Hospice, Sally told us, ‘With the team’s blend of knowledge, experience, and emotional support, they built his trust, took away his fear. The Hospice returns some of the living to life.’

Ben’s family continue to use our services now, including counselling.

At St. Michael’s Hospice we are here for our patients and their families when they need us most.