Deb’s husband, Rob, shares his wife’s story and experience with St. Michael’s Hospice.

Deb’s was an inspirational and selfless person, she was always volunteering at our son’s schools and to raise funds and awareness for charities close to her heart. St. Michael’s became one of those charities, due to her illness, we thought she was not going to see her 50^th birthday, but when it came, she dedicated it to the Hospice and raised money by hosting a charity ball at Oakley Hall.

Deb’s was a medical professional throughout her career, which meant she understood what was going on and what was to come when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013. We were married for over 20 years and for ten of those years Debs was fighting cancer, receiving her first diagnosis when our youngest son was just two years old.

The experience of the Hospice was something neither of us wanted to face – I always thought it was just a place to go at the end when you die. I was surprised how early we were put in contact with the Hospice, at first, I thought it was because they thought we had less time left together than we were told, but as we started coming to terms with what was happening, and were introduced to the Hospice and their services, we saw that it was so much more than we previously thought. It was to help prepare us for what was to come.

The Hospice doctor came to our home and spent time with us, she never made us feel rushed and walked us through everything. There was a big change in Debs after that meeting, it felt like we had a renewed sense of confronting her illness. The doctor came back to our home a number of times to confirm Deb’s plan and make sure we were both comfortable. She opened the taboo topics and encouraged us to discuss and understand what to expect for us and our family.

I hate hospitals and was nervous to walk through the Hospice doors knowing that I will not be leaving with the same number of people in my family. So, the doctor invited me to come ahead of time, they took me on a tour so I knew where we would be going, and it showed me how the Hospice is realms away from what we experienced in the hospital.

The Hospice was a huge comfort for Debs and myself, in an awful situation, they helped to make it bearable.

I feel so grateful that St. Michael’s is on our doorstep. We have three young children, and they wanted to be involved with their mum’s journey. The team handled it incredibly, I can’t think of what the alternative would have been if we were in the hospital or at home. Which is why the Hospice is so close to my heart now.

Debs wanted to stay at home comfortably for as long as possible, but once things started to change, she wanted to come to the Hospice as she did not want to die at home. The facilities and staff at the Hospice make you as comfortable as possible. They support and accommodate so many people, nothing is too much trouble.

The hospital is such stark medical care, as the person not receiving treatment you’re often left waiting on a plastic chair. In the Hospice is it so far from that, the Family Room is such a nice and comforting area outside the room, and it doesn’t feel like you are left on your own. I never expected to be hugging nurses, but it is incredible how they make you feel wrapped up by a place that will take care of you. I was offered a lot of follow up and support from the Hospice after as well.

The whole holistic approach from way before you need it to right the way through and after is amazing. I want to keep that connection and not be scared to visit the Hospice with my boys.

Deb’s was a very special person, she always included charity work and volunteering amongst her busy life with a successful career and as a wonderful mum, because it was important to her. So, we always knew she would want us to continue…

You’ll Never Run Alone

The week leading up to Deb’s anniversary, I wanted to honour the time by doing a challenge for the Hospice. It was a happy coincidence that Mark was my neighbour, friend and fellow runner. So, we started running together and chatting along our routes.

“The stars were aligned. Both my parents died at St. Michael’s Hospice almost ten years ago, in the same room. It is a very special place. Once you’ve been into the Hospice, used it, felt it, touched it, you can’t not want to support it.” – Mark

On a run, Mark suggested we take the challenge to another level and the idea to run from St. Michael’s Hospice in Basingstoke to Liverpool where Deb’s was from was born. We’ve set ourselves a goal to raise £15,000 to pay for a whole day of Hospice care. Football is such a big part of Liverpool history and has a very special place in our family’s heart, so we decided to make our goal to run to Anfield, Liverpool FC.

The idea has snowballed with Mark reaching out to the club, who have supplied a signed shirt from the whole squad, which we will auction to raise money. We have an incredible team of people supporting us, from Harliquin in Basingstoke supplying a van and t-shirts to wear, to our friends who are helping us to plan the route.

It’s not a coincidence, ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ is a very popular song and has been played at a number of close family members funerals. We even have a video of Deb’s singing the song at a game – it just feels like it was meant to be. At the games it is sung with such heart and is a great mantra to live by.

“We would like people along the way to join us and run with us – just even for a kilometre. We leave on Sunday 8 December and look to arrive on the following Saturday. I have dreams and visions of getting Rob and the boys on the pitch. They are such a special family.” – Mark

I feel overwhelmed that people want to support us so much. It’s going to be a tough challenge, as no matter how often you run, you can’t prepare for running a week straight but we’re going to do it. It’s all in honour of Debs. Her legacy to keep supporting the charities that cared for us when we needed them.

To find out more and support Rob and Mark’s incredible challenge, visit the You’ll Never Run Alone website.