Jackie’s story

For the family, Jackie was everything. We have two boys, Ben and Olly. Olly had a brain injury from when he was knocked off his bike at 8 years old. So, Jackie was more than your average mother. She was a mum to our boys, a carer to Olly, and my beautiful wife. She was our rock. Jackie shared her love and attention around equally to us all – she was everything to us.

In 2008 she caught hepatitis and had an emergency liver transplant. She was in intensive care there for four weeks, and hospital care for four months. She shouldn’t have got through that, the doctors told us that it would be unlikely. But they didn’t know Jackie. She was a fighter.

Jackie was the kind of woman who was always on the go. She would be gardening in the cold, golfing, taking care of us all, and then suggest we go out for dinner.

So, the next 16 years, after her liver transplant, together as a family felt like a gift – like we had been given bonus time with her.

In November 2023, Jackie had exceptionally high blood pressure. We had flown to Spain and her legs had swollen really badly. The doctors were able to give her medication to get us back home and we were referred to Winchester hospital. At first, they could not put their finger on the issue. They thought it was a blood clot and gave Jackie medication and told her to come back for a scan in six months. That scan showed that it wasn’t a blood clot, it was cancer. Then further tests told us it wasn’t just cancer but sarcoma.

They sent us to Birmingham hospital to be seen by specialist doctors, but by September 2024 we were told there was nothing else to be done. It was then that we discussed palliative care.

Our GP was amazing, she arranged for us to visit St. Michael’s Hospice to meet Nicolette. Jackie was under a lot of medication at the time, so Nicolette suggested that Jackie comes into the Hospice to get everything under control. We didn’t know at the time that she would not return home.

Jackie had always wanted to die at home, I was more comfortable with her at the Hospice, but we would have arranged for her to come back home if that was what she really wanted. However, when she came into the Hospice, with the incredible staff that were so far from the experience we had with hospitals in the past, we knew she was in the right place.

I think it is a testament to the quality of care that the Hospice provides that Jackie chose to stay at the Hospice. She felt comfortable and taken care of – whatever we needed, the Hospice provided (or they had already anticipated it). Its exceptional, nothing is too much trouble.

After two days at the Hospice, we were offered a bigger room and the cuddle bed. At the time, Jackie was very ill as her liver was not processing the drugs. Being given the cuddle bed gave us the freedom to be with Jackie – not leaning over her or just holding her hand but in bed with her, giving her the kind of support that can’t be expressed through words.

I know Jackie really appreciated the cuddle bed, having us together and our sons used it too and it meant a lot to Olly. I think the photos say it all really.

We were offered everything. Olly had counselling sessions, and I stayed every night I wanted to in her room. We even had our grand-puppy visit, which was chaotic, but everyone loved it!

For such an uncomfortable and sad situation, the Hospice gave us comfort and even joy. Words can’t describe how good the place is or how much it will always mean to me and my family.

The only word I can use to describe the Hospice is ‘amazing’. It’s so much more than you could ever think is conceivable. Nothing was too much trouble. The staff were remarkable – what a joy these people are to do what they do.

We have had a lot of experience in hospitals with Jackie’s health, and the staff at the Hospice are the best of the best. From the doctors, nurses, healthcare assistants to the quality of food, the environment…just everybody and everything is amazing.

It’s so far from the forefront of your mind: death. You’re going to die one day, and you assume you’ll be in a hospital or at home. But the Hospice is the ultimate premium care. However, its only through experience that you realise the impact of Hospice care.

Once you’ve seen the value of the Hospice, you know how important it is. That’s why I’m such an advocate of the Hospice now. We need to protect it. We don’t have a crystal ball to know when we will need it – we need to do all we can to pay it forward, to make sure the Hospice is here now and, in the future, so others can get the care that we did.

Help more families benefit from the closeness our cuddle beds can bring, by donating to our Cuddle Bed Appeal.