John’s story

As my husband, John, approached 50 years of age, he had everything he could have ever wanted – a good balance between his loving family and a busy successful career, but in 2017, his world was turned upside down. 

An aggressive, large and very rare cancerous tumour had taken residence in his face and John’s future looked extremely bleak. He underwent 30 hours of life-changing maxillofacial surgery across several operations, received almost 400 stitches and then endured gruelling radiotherapy and chemotherapy. 

Whilst recovering from the shock of the first operation, John had an epiphany. He wished to help others facing cancer and give something back – a ‘thank you’ to those who had helped him. He wrote his first book, ‘Face Cancer’ an insightful, inspirational and honest account that takes us through his life before cancer and beyond. 

Unfortunately, two years later, the cancer had spread to John’s brain, damaging nerves and causing seizures of the temporal lobe, which dramatically changes an individual’s personality. John’s short-term memory was also affected, and he struggled to focus, unable to even read a newspaper or watch the news. 

However, in his selfless way, despite undergoing palliative care and suffering greatly, John put his personal struggle to one side and found the drive and determination to help others. Throughout his illness his positive mind-set shone through, together with his resilience, humour and love for family and friends. 

In July 2019 John was told by his GP and oncologist that his cancer was now terminal. Within hours of that diagnosis St. Michael’s Hospice Basingstoke called me to arrange an initial meeting….at home! 

During the last 6 months of his life, we as a family were offered the services of St. Micheal’s Hospice in the comfort of our own home, which is known as Hospice at Home. 

At that time, my life felt incredibly difficult, sad and exhausting, but I had a ‘back up team’ to support me, they were the Hospice at Home Team. They gave me the confidence, the strength, the knowledge and the care that I needed to support John, at home. I even had 1-2-1 counselling with the Hospice Chaplain, allowing me the time to chat and offload my sad thoughts in private. 

In essence, they provided all of us, John, myself and our children, with more than enough support. They were always there: either on the phone or in person whenever we needed them. I can only describe them as extraordinary. 

We are all human, experiencing life’s highs and lows at different stages within our lives. Although it’s an uncomfortable thought, loss is a natural part of life. St. Michael’s Hospice provides an endless list of help, guidance, care and love not only to their patients but to primary relations who are also understandably affected by circumstances. 

It’s impossible for me to verbally express my gratitude for them, I can only continue telling this story and raising funds for this charity with their big heart to show our thanks. 

John passed away at home with his family beside him on Christmas Day 2019.